AMA No. 4
Where to start with makeup at 58, the non-iron shirt I actually wear, what to do about thinning hair, who catches my eye, and how I learned about fit.
A note before we start: my AMAs are usually for paid subscribers, but this one's open to everyone since so many of you are new here. Welcome!
Q: I’m 58 and I really don’t wear makeup, but I’d like to start with something easy. Where do I begin?
With less than you think.
And the good news is that this is a much better moment to be starting than it would have been even ten years ago. The formulas have gotten enormously better, particularly for skin that isn't 25 anymore. The heavy, chalky products that sat on top of everything and settled into every line have largely been replaced by tints and creams that move with your face.
Skin. Start here, and think about evening out your tone rather than covering anything up. I love the Ilia Skin Tint for this. It genuinely feels barely there, and the shade range is inclusive. And I like their Complexion Brush for a really simple application.
Brows. Nothing changes a face faster for less effort. You’re not drawing them on, you’re filling in where it’s sparse and brushing them up. Two minutes. I use the BDB Universal Brow Pencil. It’s a 10/10.
Cream blush. I like a cream blush or on really light powder. Tap it high on the cheek and blend up toward your temple. Jane Iredale makes a nice one called the Colorluxe Liquid Blush, I have the color Bombshell. I also like the RMS Redimension Hydra Powder Blush in French Rose.
Lip. I need to define my lips, otherwise my face loses its structure and most days I just use a lip gloss or oil. The Ilia Overglaze Hydrating Lip Gloss is lovely, I wear the shade Flambé. And the RMS Legendary Lip Oil in shade Chameleon is a pH-adjusting pink that looks really natural.
Mascara. I’m devoted to Thrive Causemetics Liquid Lash™ Extensions Tubing Mascara. I’ve tried everything else and this is my hands down favorite.
That’s really it. ❤️
If you have a blemish to cover, the RMS concealer is close to foolproof. And if you want a kiss of bronzer so it looks like you’ve been outside, dust on the RMS bronzer.
Q: I’m looking for a crisp white button-down that is a true non-iron shirt. Do you have one you recommend?
I do. My favorite is The Shirt by Rochelle Behrens.
They offer two no iron styles and I have and wear both. The Icon is the tailored one, fitted through the chest, waist, and back. The Boyfriend is looser through the body and arms. Both come in sizes XXS - XXL, I typically take a medium.
They run $135 and $158, which is real money for a basic shirt. The thing I love about the brand, though, is that there's a second row of hidden buttons in between the visible ones, so the shirt doesn't pull open across the chest. And the quality and fit are top notch.
Q: I’ve lost weight on a GLP-1 and couldn’t be happier, but my hair has definitely taken a hit. Do you have any recommendations for thinning hair?
Hair thinning after significant weight loss is something I hear about from readers constantly, and I know how discouraging it is.
Start with your doctor, just to double-check that you aren’t deficient in anything.
As for products, I've been very pleased with Nutrafol. I’ve been taking the Women’s Balance formula for almost a year, and while it is not an overnight fix, I’m glad I stuck with it.
That’s the part worth emphasizing. Hair grows slowly. A few weeks in, I noticed nothing. It took months before I saw any difference at all.
Then last week I was at the salon and my stylist kept commenting on how much new growth she was seeing. I can’t tell you how excited I was to hear that. Consistency pays, it just doesn’t pay quickly.
I have the monthly subscription so I don’t worry about running out. Right now new subscribers can save up to $106.
One housekeeping note: this is a judgment-free conversation. Comments shaming women for using GLP-1s will be removed. We’re here to share real experiences, not to debate anyone’s healthcare decisions.
Q: Can you ever turn off the stylist part of your brain, or are you always noticing what people are wearing?
It never turns off, but it’s probably not what people imagine.
I’m not sitting in a restaurant critiquing strangers. Honestly, I don’t care what other people wear. It barely registers. I’m grown enough to know everyone is busy living their lives, and half the time I’m out running errands looking like a bridge troll myself. If you saw me at the grocery store on a random Tuesday, you would not guess I work in fashion.
What I do notice is when a woman is really well dressed. There is nothing I love more, and nothing that geeks me out more, than seeing a beautifully dressed woman out in the real world. A woman living her life who absolutely nailed it.
My brain immediately starts taking notes. What is she wearing? More importantly, how is she wearing it? How did she style that blazer? Why do those proportions work? Why does that color combination look so effortless? I notice her grooming, her accessories, the small details that pull the whole thing together.
Last week we were at our pool and there is a little open air cabana bar with a dress code and no kids allowed, which sounds fussy until you realize you can still see the kids from your seat. Brilliant, frankly. You throw a cover-up on over your suit and go in.
A woman walked in looking like she was summering in the South of France. The most incredible cover-up, a pair of blue Ray-Bans I never would have thought to buy, and every bit of it working with her coloring. Chic without looking like she had tried too hard.
I stopped her to tell her how fabulous she looked and ask where everything was from. The cover-up was Tuckernuck, and of course it was already sold out.
Those are the moments I love and find really inspiring.
Q: I just discovered your Substack this week, and I loved your article about fit. Can I ask how you learned so much about getting clothes to fit well?
First, welcome, and thank you for following along.
My education in fit started long before I became a stylist.
When I was 19, I got a job at an upscale women’s boutique in the heart of Philadelphia. What I thought would be a college job turned into five years of my life. I learned how to buy, eventually became the store’s general manager, and built the foundation for everything I’ve done since. Looking back, it was probably the most important job I’ve ever had.
I still remember my first day. It was 2000, and I was walking the floor getting familiar with the inventory. I pulled a leopard print pencil skirt off the rack, looked at the price tag, and nearly passed out. It was $120. At the time, I thought that was an outrageous amount of money for a skirt. Who on earth spends that much on clothes? It was a completely different world from anything I’d known.
The boutique offered complimentary alterations. We had a full-time seamstress whose studio was across the street, and any time a customer needed tailoring, we’d call her over to pin the garment.
Eventually we got so busy that she started teaching us to do it ourselves. That’s where I learned garment construction. What can realistically be altered, what isn’t worth the expense, and how to pin and chalk a garment so a tailor knows exactly what you’re trying to accomplish.
I’m not someone who picks things up easily, but this clicked immediately. I can’t make the alterations myself, but I understand what happens once a seam is opened, what’s possible, and where the limits are. It’s knowledge I’ve carried for more than twenty-five years.
It changed the way I shop. Instead of asking does this fit perfectly off the rack, I started asking can this become perfect?
Years later, when I started my styling business, I hired my own tailor and built alterations into the service. It was one of the things that made us different.
Tailoring is still the most overlooked tool in building a wardrobe. Most women have been taught that if something isn’t perfect on the hanger, it isn’t meant for them. In reality, some of the best pieces in your closet become your favorites because of a few thoughtful alterations.
That’s it for this one! Thank you for reading, and thank you to everyone who sent in a question.
If you have a question, leave it in the comments below or send it to me directly.
These usually go out to paid subscribers only. This one was open to everyone because so many of you found me this week. If you’d like them in your inbox every time, you can upgrade below.
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Such great questions! Also, a note for thinning hair - one side of my hair thinned out a LOT after I was sick for a full month this winter. My aesthetician suggested a treatment called DERIVE - it's like an aquafacial but for your scalp, so it exfoliates and puts all kinds of good things into your scalp to stimulate the hair follicles and improve your scalp condition. It's super pricey, but fabulous. I notice such a difference in my hair!
Nice Parallelle Traveller bag!!